Pure signal.

Gee, thanks.

You have talent. You (an untrustworthy and perhaps even slightly repulsive person) have (posses as one possess a thing) talent (something I think I can “monetize”). Boy. If I had your talent I would DO SOMETHING with it. This THING you have this THING which is unrelated completely to who you are (which I slightly or even significantly dislike) and what you do (your judgment, which, as we have already said, is recognizably bad) this THING is something that a DIFFERENT PERSON (like, maybe, ME) could USE in the way that a PERSON uses a THING to GET SOMETHING ELSE that is REALLY worthwhile like MONEY.


Because (the implication) it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE. And nothing to do with your decisions. Your decisions, in fact, are loser decisions. Your decisions are the decisions a loser would make. You are a real fuck-up. Which is a real shame because if I could just cut this thing out of you like a Rhinoceros horn and powder it and sell it to Chinese businessmen then they could all start writing POP SONGS and COMMERCIALS and SCREENPLAYS and STEVEN KING NOVELS and the world would suddenly be roiling in a massive stinking tarpit of GREAT LITERATURE and it would be a whole new Renaissance all fueled by the juice from your pineal gland or some FUCKING THING.

Because you aren’t using it. Because it has nothing (THIS TALENT) to do with who you ARE because it is an opportunity (like a promotion) that has been WASTED on you. And I sure don’t want to listen to WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. I SURE WISH YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE. Because, DAMN,

you are talented. (yea whatever I don’t even think he was that talented)


December 25, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. What is the definition of talent, except that which is the potential to do or create some*thing* new / unique? The choice lies with the individual as to whether they make that happen.. or not. What is unclear from this entertaining little rant, is whether the proponent talked about is your good self or some other repository for unrealised greatness. Every dog eventually has his day.. even if it is just dry humping a tree stump. :o)

    Comment by Jill | December 26, 2007 | Reply

  2. You really picked this apart well. It’s not the first sentence, “You have talent.” that really offends. It’s the second, “Boy. If I had your talent I would DO SOMETHING with it.” as if you, with your talents, do nothing worthwhile. As if your talent has not gained you riches and fame, therefore you have done nothing but waste it on frivolities such as happiness and such.

    I haven’t wasted my talents so much as I never wanted to use them to sell Pepsi.

    I’m reading The Brothers Karmozov lately (because Camus mentions it repeatedly in The Rebel and I felt left out not knowing… apparently it’s a landmark in rebel literature…) and in one of the early chapters the religious elder, Zossima, speaks to the father Karamozov at length about how one can really enjoy being offended… Not that it completely applies to you and your rant at all… it’s just an awesome passage whose mental memory bell began ringing when I read your indignant rant.

    Just for shits and giggles, I’ll type it out:

    “…Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than any one. You know it is sometimes very pleasurant to take offence, isn’t it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill—he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offence, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it, and so pass to genuine vindictiveness…”

    Comment by Chuk! | December 29, 2007 | Reply

  3. Thought it might be worth pointing out that this is a perfectly general gripe. No doubt 200-300 specific people have said as much to me, but this is exactly and impersonally the market response to individual vision. I don’t feel singled out or special in this — it’s not like I’ve ever turned down a chance to write for David Letterman or anything. But I deeply fucking resent the idea that writing jokes for David Letterman would make me a success, while mastering the Sonnet form, say, would make me a loser and an eccentric.

    A talented individual said it much better than I did (he was talking about something else, but it applies here in spades.)



    The waiting drove me mad…youre finally here and Im a mess
    I take your entrance back…cant let you roam inside my head
    I dont want to take what you can give…
    I would rather starve than eat your bread…
    I would rather run but I cant walk…
    Guess Ill lie alone just like before…

    Ill take the firmest path…oh, and I must refuse your test
    A-push me and I will resist…this behaviors not unique
    I dont want to hear from those who know…
    They can buy, but cant put on my clothes…
    I dont want to limp for them to walk…
    Never would have known of me before…
    I dont want to be held in your debt…
    And Ill pay it off in blood, let I be wed…
    And Im already cut up and half dead…
    Ill end up alone like I began…

    Everything has changed, absolutely nothings changed
    Take my hand, not my picture, spilled my tincture

    I dont want to take what you can give…
    I would rather starve than eat your breast…
    All the things that others want for me…
    Cant buy what I want because its free… (2x)
    Cant be what you want because im…

    I aint sposed to be just fun
    Oh, to live and die, let it be done
    I figure Ill be damned, all alone like I began…

    Comment by bootslack | December 30, 2007 | Reply

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